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Facts About Low Self-Esteem
When your self-esteem is low, you are your own harshest critic. You feel unworthy and incompetent. You’re blind to your good points. You are haunted by your past mistakes and the possibility of making future errors. You can’t handle criticism. You’re reluctant to ask for what you want from others.
Low self-esteem takes an enormous toll on the quality of your life. Judging and rejecting yourself is so painful that you avoid anything that might aggravate that pain. You take fewer social, academic, or career risks. You find it more difficult to meet people, interview for a job, or strive for success in the face of possible failure.
There are two primary sources for low self-esteem:
How you were reared up to age four or five
Your own thoughts and images since then
There’s nothing you can do that will give you different parents and change the way you were reared. But there’s a lot you can do about the current thoughts and images that keep you locked into low self-esteem.
If you’re thinking that it’s impossible to change your negative thoughts, you’re almost right. It’s very difficult to change years of negative self-talk, however, with determination, visualization and hypnosis, it can be done. Over the years your negative self-appraisals take on a life of their own. They become a carping voice inside your head that I call the “pathological critic.” Your pathological critic is right there, always at attention and ready to tell you…. It predicts failure from the beginning. It ignores your strong points and harps on your weaknesses. It never misses the slightest mistake or imperfection, slyly whispering in your ear, “Stupid…lame…what a jerk…why can’t you get it right?”
The critic blames you for everything and compares you unfavorably to everybody. It sets up perfectionistic, impossible standards and castigates you for failing to measure up. It reads your friends’ minds and convinces you that they are bored, turned off, disappointed, or disgusted by you. The critic exaggerates your weaknesses by insisting that you “always screw up a relationship,” “never finish anything on time,” or “always saying the wrong thing.” The pathological critic uses your powers of visualization against you by showing highly edited home movies of your past mistakes and embarrassments. It projects a slide show of future disasters that obscures any vision of yourself as good or worthy in the present.
Hypnotherapy can help you overcome this negative self talk by improving your self-image and reframing the negative impute. Through the use of hypnosis, you will be able to identify the saboteur and release it permanently. This will allow you to reprogram your beliefs and goals in a more productive useful way, thus increasing your self-confidence.
Raise your Self Esteem in Twelve Steps
Stop comparing yourself with other people! There will always be people who have more than you do and some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.
Do not put yourself down! You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Avoid self-deprecating comments.
Accept all compliments with "thank you!" When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple "Thank You."
Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem! Make it a point to look in the mirror often and say a positive statement about your self. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.
Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem! Whatever material you allow to dominate your mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior.
Associate with positive, supportive people! When negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down surround you, it lowers your self-esteem. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-esteem.
Make a list of your past successes! This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction you experienced when you first attained each success.
Make a list of your positive qualities! Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Now magnify these qualities. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll experience success after success!
Start giving more of yourself! When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises you own self-esteem.
Get involved in work and activities you love! It's hard to feel good about yourself when spending days in work you despise. Even if you can't explore alternative career options now, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.
Be true to yourself! Live your own life-not the life others have decided is best for you. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself.
Take action! You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take action-regardless of the ensuing result-you will feel better about yourself.